[INTERVIEW]
Ronda Nelson: Well, we’ve officially entered the era where a patient can have watched three TikToks, buy seven supplements from said influencer, diagnose herself with parasites, cortisol belly, estrogen dominance, perimenopause, mitochondrial dysfunction, and the list goes on. And then she comes into your office, and she asks if you agree with the protocol. And if you disagree, well, you may be technically right, but you may have just lost the patient. So today we’re gonna talk about how to respond — what to say when the influencer said so.
Well, friends, today I’m on a bit of a rant. Yes, I am. I am gonna be ranting today. I am fed up with these TikTok and Instagram influencers. I have had it. If I have one more patient come to me and say, “Well, I heard,” or, “I found out that I have” whatever it is, fill in the blank, and they tell me that they bought the supplements — I’m telling you, I think it might make me go out of business. I don’t know. I might just quit the whole thing.
I am so frustrated by this because this is now… it used to be just an occasional annoyance, but this elevation of these wellness trends that are starting to happen online, they are going so fast and they’re running so much money at these ads. They’re all AI ads, and this has now become part of the landscape that we have to deal with as providers managing these patients that are coming in with these crazy ideas about how they’re gonna get better.
Because the patients aren’t just searching symptoms, right? It’s not like they used to be, where they would go on Dr. Google. That’s what we always called it. They would go on Dr. Google, they would search for their symptom, and they would come back and say, “I think Dr. Google says…” Yeah, I can kind of deal with that because Dr. Google’s not a real thing. I can say, “Well, listen, you can let Dr. Google be your doctor, but I’m not gonna compete with Dr. Google.” So that’s how that goes. If you want, you can believe all that, and good luck, and if I can help you at some point in the future, I’m happy to do that. But I’m not gonna let there be two cooks in the kitchen.
This is kinda the same thing, except now we’re battling a real person, or at least an AI person, but they don’t know the difference, and sometimes we don’t know the difference, right? So whether it’s YouTube or Instagram or TikTok or podcasts — and the podcasts are crazy right now — these influencers and celebrity wellness brands, they’re talking about all kinds of things, and the problem is it’s not always true, and we know this.
So the patient comes in, they’ve got screenshots, and they’ve got the bottles that they purchased. They’ve got their self-diagnosis, and of course they definitely have opinions about GLP usage. They’ve got opinions about all these things. “Well, this is why I have cortisol belly,” or, “This is the diet I need to go on to lose weight.” There’s no way for me to even list them all. They’re not coming in saying, “Hey, listen, doc, what do you think?” No, no, that’s gone. They’re saying, “Well, this is what I have and this is what I think I need.” I’m like, “Okay, doctor patient, you just go with yourself then.”
So this is not something that we can ignore, and I’m irritated enough. I’ve kinda kept it under my hat, but I’m irritated enough now I gotta talk to y’all about it. So coming in with a bag full of influencer supplements that they’ve probably paid way too much for — this health misinformation that’s out there, it’s always been there, it’s just really becoming an epidemic. In fact, I read a statistic — I don’t have it in front of me — but it was something like they evaluated the health claims of these online sources over a period of time, and they came back and said 46% of them had zero scientific basis. Now, to be fair, some of what we do might fall into that category. But I’m gonna blame it 100% on all those people. I’m gonna not take any responsibility.
And it’s so frustrating because the influencer makes it sound like it’s a certain deal. It’s 100% sure. This is what works. This product works. This particular exercise, this particular diet, whatever it is, and the patient’s like, “Wow, okay.” So just stop right there. Just stop for a second. Okay, this is not in my notes, but I just had this thought. You, by nature of what you do, are an influencer. Would you agree? Now, you may not have a big, huge social media following — I’m not talking about that kind of influencer. But do you have influence over your patients? I would argue yes, you absolutely do.
So what is the difference between you and the influencer? The difference is, my friend, how we talk about it. The influencer comes in with excitement and confidence galore, and they are just so stoked about whatever it is they’re talking about. And on our side — how are we doing it? Well, we’re like, “Well, Mary, you know, this is gonna be good for your hot flashes. I really think it’s gonna work. Start with two twice a day, and then we’ll follow up in a month.” Well, listen, if I was the patient, who would you rather believe, follow, trust, and get all the feel-goods from? Of course, it’s gonna be the influencer.
So I think we’ve kinda set ourselves up for this by being a little bit more passive. Why don’t we change the frame, change the script, flip it a little bit, and just take on the persona of being an influencer in your own practice? Because that’s what they’re looking at. They’re looking at someone who feels like they see them, they know them, they get them, and they have the solution. Well, friend, you should be doing the same thing. The patient wants validation, not evaluation. But we can’t validate a wrong product. I’m gonna talk in a few minutes about what to say and what not to say.
The influencer gets all the attention, but then the patient comes to us and we have to do the cleanup, and the cleanup comes with some risk — because the patient could then say, “Well, Ronda didn’t care about me. She just dismissed everything. She just said that this was baloney.” And then I lose credibility with the patient. We really are stuck. I think there is a way to get out of this, but the first thing you have to do is think about becoming your own influencer inside your practice. If you don’t wanna do it on social media, fine. I don’t really either. But you have to become that influencer. You just have to, period. You’ve got to do that in less than 30 seconds. I mean, it has to be fast.
So the influencer — you know, they’re clear. They make it simple. They have a lot of emotion. There is urgency. “Your hot flashes are not gonna go away without this XYZ product.” It seems novel, at least to the patient. How come you can’t create some novelness about what it is that you’re recommending? And then it’s relatable — they know how to connect with the pain point of the audience.
We, as practitioners, we’re responsible to make sure that what they’re taking is safe for them, it fits in with their physiology, it matches their timeline, where they are in the process of healing. That’s our job, and fortunately, we can be both of those people. You can be that influencer. If not, you’re gonna fight against them, and you’re gonna sit back on your haunches and — oh, do you hear me ranting? I’m ranting. You sit back on your haunches like, “Well, I lost that person because they went online and found some other supplements, or they found another practitioner who told them what they wanted to hear.” Sometimes that happens. But that’s on you. Because you didn’t meet the patient where they were at. You were not communicating with clarity, specificity, urgency, relatability — all the things, and excitement, passion — all the things that are gonna make the patient go, “Oh my gosh, this is like the best thing since sliced bread.”
Let me give you an example. If I talk about Tribulus — I love Tribulus. I love Tribulus for menopausal women. I love Tribulus for women that have cyclical dysfunction on days 15 to 28. I have seen miracles, almost the dead come back to life with Tribulus. It’s amazing. I love that product. But I don’t always say it that way. I say, “All right. Listen, you’re having hot flashes. Let’s go ahead and use some Tribulus, and we’re gonna do four per day. I want you to do this for six weeks, and then we’re gonna reevaluate what your hot flashes look like at that time. We’ll either adjust the dose or we’ll change it to something that is more specifically addressing them.” Okay, all of that is true. But what if I came at it with a different angle and a little bit more excitement — kinda like what I’m feeling right now?
What if I said, “Oh my gosh, I have the best supplement for you. It is called Tribulus, and it comes from this particular plant,” and then you give as much technical detail as you want to. But at the end of the day you could say, “Listen, this herb is so amazing. Not only does it help in reproductive years, but it is so good for hot flashes because it works at the hypothalamus, which is the control center in your brain. That’s where all the temperature dysregulation is coming from in the first place, and it can really help to manage that. I’ve seen patients get amazing results within 48 hours — hot flashes reduced. In fact, I was one of those people. That’s why I’m so passionate about it, because it took my crazy hot flashes from a 10 out of 10 down to about a 3 out of 10 within 48 hours. That’s the one that I want you to take.” You see the difference? Now all of a sudden the patient’s like, “Oh my gosh, I need this,” and then she goes out and she tells everybody, “Ronda said Tribulus. You should go get some.” You just have to be an influencer.
Okay, let’s talk about actually talking to them. When they come in with a diagnosis — do you remember when leaky gut was the thing? Remember? They would read about it online, whatever, and they would come in and say, “I have leaky gut.” And I’m like, “Leaky gut isn’t a thing. It’s a thing, but it’s not the problem. It’s the sign. The gut doesn’t just get leaky. What makes it get leaky? Something provoked it. Is it a food? Is it an infection? Something provoked those proteins from disconnecting and letting things through.” But they were sure. Everybody had leaky gut. And I would let a patient leave and I would roll my eyes and think, “Oh my gosh, are you kidding me? Another one.”
Sort of the same thing. Now, I could tell the patient, “You don’t have leaky gut.” Well, that’s what I said. “I don’t think that’s true.” But here’s the thing — I believed the influencer, and the patient hears, if I say, “Well, that influencer is not right,” what the patient hears is, “You are a dummy because you believed them in the first place.” And if you say, “I don’t think that cleanse is gonna be good for you,” what the patient hears is, “You don’t understand. I’m desperate and I’ll do anything, and you’re not helping me.”
And all of the things that you say may be true, and none of the things that they believed may be true. But if the patient feels like you’re correcting them, or you’re telling them that they made a wrong decision — bad idea — because it makes them feel embarrassed. They feel judged. They feel like their friends and family are looking at them. They’ve told a bunch of people now about this influencer, and they’ve got this product, and everybody’s talking. They’ve told everybody, and then you come in and you say, “Well, really dumb decision.” I mean, you didn’t really say that, but that’s what they hear. And so you might win the argument, but you lose the patient in the process because you just discredited yourself. And I know I’ve done it. I’ve done it. That’s why I’m talking about it. I’ve said, “Man, you should stay offline.” And then they just feel stupid. I didn’t mean to make somebody feel that way, but I think that’s what happened.
So our job is not to win the argument. We’re not gonna shame the influencer. We’re not gonna prove that we’re smarter. We’re not gonna dismiss the concern of the patient. We’re not gonna do any of that. What we are gonna do is, number one, try to keep and maintain the patient relationship. Then we’re gonna understand what they’re afraid of. What is the problem they’re trying to solve? What are they worried about? And then figure out what their outcome is. What are they hoping will happen? And then — this is the key, this is kind of where the fork in the road is — we have to separate the symptom from the explanation. We have to separate those two and reframe the conversation so that it makes sense with how the body works.
It’s kind of like the reflux, heartburn conversation, right? We have to reframe that for people all the time. And if I was honest, I would say sometimes I don’t wanna talk about it again. How many times in my life — thousands of times — have I explained how the stomach works, HCL, gallbladder and pancreatic enzymes? I’ve explained that a bazillion times, and I don’t wanna do it again. I’m tired of explaining it. But you know, it’s like being on an airplane. You can tell the people that are over it when they’re making the safety announcements, and then you can tell the people that are new. Kinda like that. We just have to get over it. You just have to explain the physiology in a way that makes sense to them, and then we can figure out how to address the influencer issue without affecting the patient.
So let me give you some examples. The patient comes in and says, “Oh my gosh, I just heard that such and such product is gonna do this, that, and the other thing, and I need that, so I bought some. What do you think?” And you say, “That’s really interesting. Tell me exactly what you heard — what made that product stand out to you?” Because now I’m not invalidating the patient. I’m not saying, even indirectly, that they’re stupid or the product is dumb or they wasted their money. I’m just saying, “Interesting. Tell me what the influencer said and why that stood out to you.” I’m genuinely curious.
And instead of saying, “Well, that won’t work,” you could even rephrase it: “What part of what the influencer said did you feel like matched best with the symptoms you’re experiencing now? Where do you feel like that match is?” Now you’ve let the patient lead. You’ve basically said, “Good job. I wanna know more.” That actually makes you look like the smartest and most relational person in the room. The influencer doesn’t give a rat’s rear end about whether the product works or not. The influencer is selling stuff to get money. That’s all. But you’re in this to win this.
So when they come in with something, we just have to start asking more questions. That’s the key. Instead of saying, “Oh, you don’t need that liver cleanse” — that’s a bad one — you say, “Okay, what are you hoping that liver cleanse is gonna solve?” If they’re already in the middle of it and they come in saying, “Oh, I started something two weeks ago,” you’re like, “Oh, okay. What are you hoping that approach is gonna give you?” Or, “Tell me more about what you’re hoping that’s gonna give you.” These phrases — this way of re-languaging it — by really just asking questions, you’re keeping the patient, protecting their feelings, basically keeping them from feeling stupid.
The reveal is what they’re worried about. They are nervous about telling you that they bought it. So the worst thing we can do is shame them. The best thing we can do is ask more questions. And sometimes if you ask the right questions, my friend, they will come to the conclusion that this wasn’t the best idea themselves. No, don’t go and be manipulative about it. But sometimes if you ask the right questions, all of a sudden the patient goes, “Oh, yeah, yeah, I get that. Okay, you’re right, and I won’t take it,” because this is definitely the wrong thing to do.
So, you know, the patient sees a video and they’re talking about parasites. Parasite cleanses are everywhere right now. And we could say, “I can see why a parasite cleanse might get your attention because you’re bloated all the time. I absolutely know that, and that’s super frustrating for you. It doesn’t feel good when you eat and you bloat. What other symptoms do you have that you think that parasite cleanse might apply? ‘Cause I wanna make sure that we’re matching the right thing for you.” See, then they don’t feel attacked. They don’t feel belittled. They don’t feel like they lost. They don’t feel like they made a stupid decision.
So what we wanna do is just turn it around. We wanna ask more questions. When these patients come in and they’ve been influenced by the influencers, we wanna confirm their concern, confirm their belief. You could say things like, “It makes sense why you would be looking for answers about bloating. I get that, ’cause you are bloated. It would make sense why you are looking. Of course you’re gonna be looking for answers.” Or, “I understand why that got your attention. I totally get that.” Or, “You are right for wanting an explanation about why that symptom is happening.” And then you can take it from there, because now you’ve validated them.
We still hate the influencers. Don’t get me wrong. I’m still mad about that. But this isn’t gonna go away. It’s not going to go away. These influencers, they’re making too much money, and the internet is rewarding their bad behavior with revenue, and they’re gonna keep doing what they do.
So if you want to be real ambitious, you could create a little library of videos. You know when kids learn about sex for the first time? I’ve always said the parents have to be the first one to tell them, because then that becomes the truth. But what happens is they’re talking about it with the neighbor kids, none of which have had any kind of relationships at that level, and they’re telling your child what it’s all about. Now the first impression is the impression that sticks, and that’s the one that psychologically and emotionally we always prefer. So your son Johnny hears it from the neighbor kids, and then you come in one day thinking Johnny knows nothing, and you tell him. He’s like, “Uh-uh. No, no. That’s not how it is.” You’re like, “Wait, what just happened?” Those neighbor kids — those are influencers.
So what we wanna do is set the narrative. If you want to really step it up in your practice and build a business that’s stable — this is what I help practitioners do — create a library of short videos, maybe no more than three to four minutes, that address these influencer claims or address the physiology behind whatever they’re claiming a product can fix. Upper digestion, reflux, heartburn — that’s a good example. So if the patient has reflux and their medical doctor said, “Just take this PPI or acid blocker, take Nexium,” you could record a video about how it actually works and what we want to do to improve that function and get back to baseline where the digestive system is working as it should be. Now you get to be the one with the explanation, and you only have to do it once.
You could create this little library and say, “Mary, I’m gonna send you home with a video I want you to watch. It explains this in more detail. And then after that, we can discuss it. We can talk about whether you still feel like this is the right thing. If you feel like it’s the right thing, that’s fine. I’m not sure that it’s gonna work, but we can see, ’cause I totally understand that you’ve got these symptoms and you wanna have them resolved. I get it.” So you could create a library of these anti-influencer videos that talk about the physiology in a way that patients can actually understand it. That way it connects the patient back to the physiology and keeps them from chasing the trend. If they come in talking about cortisol belly or perimenopause — record a video about that. Talk about it. Because otherwise you’re gonna be like the airline attendant and you’re just gonna be boring when you’re talking about the same thing over and over.
So the last thing I would say is when you’ve had this conversation and you’ve asked the questions — “Tell me more about what symptom you feel like this is addressing,” or, “Tell me more why this appealed to you. I’m really curious” — and the patient talks it through, then what we wanna do is give them a better next step. So what if the patient is just dead set to do this? I had this happen not long ago. Patient comes in with a whole bunch of thyroid stuff and she is just dead set that she needs to do a parasite cleanse. She’s about 15 pounds underweight — and that’s not why she wants to do the parasite cleanse, she’s not thinking tapeworm — she’s just always been underweight. Her diet has been really good, but she’s not eating enough calories, so she’s got some sarcopenia. She is just not healthy, and we’ve all met those people. And she wants to do this parasite cleanse. I cannot talk her out of it. And finally I just said, “Okay, listen. I think you should do that.” And she did, and she felt horrible. And then when she was done she said, “Oh my gosh, I didn’t feel good.” And I said, “Oh, I’m so sorry. It sounds like that didn’t work out very well for you.” I never said a word, but I think she knew. She was like, “Ronda was right.”
So sometimes you just have to let them go do the thing, but at very least you need to give them a next better step. You could say something like, “Listen, before you jump into that parasite cleanse, I’d like to do this first because this will set you up to have a better cleanse.” Now you’ve become the influencer. “Based on what you’ve shared, based on what you’ve learned, I think your first step would be blank.” Now you’re not excluding their maybe bad decision or purchase. You’re validating them and giving them a next option.
You could say, “I don’t want to ignore your concern, but I also don’t want to chase the wrong target. I get that it’s a concern, but could the reflux be because there’s something else going on in the stomach? And yes, this supplement that you purchased — it may help with the reflux. But what if that’s not the real problem? What if the problem is in the stomach and we need to fix the stomach first? I understand you’re desperate and you want some help. I just don’t wanna chase the wrong thing. What do you think?” And then let them talk. We talk too much. We just need to ask them more questions.
So when they come in talking about, you know, all these 40-somethings — “Oh, I’m in perimenopause. I just know it, and my doctor’s gonna put me on bioidentical hormones. My mood, I’m tired, I have no libido, my metabolism is off, I just need to go on hormones. I just know I’m in perimenopause.” And maybe she’s even 38. I have a 38-year-old who said that to me. I was like, “Are you flipping kidding me? Who have you been listening to?” Well, it’s all the podcasts and all the things, ’cause it’s a great revenue stream. These practices are putting these women on bioidenticals, and the thing is they don’t feel a lot better — or they might for a little while, but then they don’t — because that’s not the solution. I’m teaching a menopause seminar in a couple of weeks, and I’ll tell you more about it in a minute. But that’s not what she needs. What she needs is someone to tell her the truth: the hormones could actually make it worse. It’s really a blood sugar and cortisol issue. We just have to tell the truth about that.
So I don’t think the influencer thing is gonna go away. I mean, maybe they’ll come in with something and make it illegal, but then we can’t talk about what we wanna talk about either. So I kinda don’t have a great answer there. Free speech is free speech, right? We have to let people do that. But we also have to understand that it impacts us and we can’t ignore it. Dr. Google is easy to fight against because it was just an internet thing, but these influencers are harder to fight because they’re people — or AI people — but the patients believe that they’re real.
So being the authority is listening first, asking better questions, validating their concern, tying their symptoms back to physiology, prioritizing, letting them know what the next step is, and helping them feel like they’re in good hands with you. And I would also say — based on what I said earlier — that we kinda have to be our own influencers of sorts. We just have to. We just have to step up to the plate and do it.
So all right, here’s the thing. I’m gonna give you six things to do.
Number one: pause and take a breath before you get mad that they bought something without your knowing. Pause before correcting. Don’t react.
Number two: ask what they heard. What made that stand out to you?
Number three: validate their concern. “I understand that would certainly get your attention. My gosh, you have been bloated for so long.”
Number four: ask them what felt the most relevant. What was the symptom? What felt like it matched?
Number five: separate the symptom from the conclusion. The symptom is real, but the process or the thing that they bought might not resolve it. Here’s what I want you to do first. Validate it for them, but reframe it so that they have a different way to think about it. You’re not telling them it was wrong. You’re just giving them a different option.
And throughout all of this — don’t mock the person. Don’t make fun of the influencer. Don’t correct them before you’ve even heard them out. Let them feel safe. Don’t overexplain either, because we do that too. And don’t dismiss their symptom just because you’ve got it under control or because the influencer’s explanation was wrong. And don’t take away their belief that it could work without giving them a plan or another option.
Just stay calm. Take a breath. Give them a next step. Let them know you’re in their court. It’s not gonna go away. We can’t compete with them. So if we can’t compete with them, then we’ve gotta be better than them, and the way we be better is how we show up in the office. How we connect with them. We start with curiosity. We get excited about the recommendations we make. We tell them, “This is absolutely gonna work.” Confidence sells. Confidence sells. Confidence sells. Tattoo that on the inside of your eyelid, my friend. Confidence sells. The more confident you are, the more likely the patient is going to follow your instructions.
So I got through that. I was only saucy for a little bit. I was proud of myself. But this stuff is making me crazy, I tell you.
[CLOSING]
Ronda Nelson: Menopause seminar coming up on May 30th — so if you’re here, you’re listening, you’re watching, you wanna make sure that you are there. I am presenting a brand-new framework I have never talked about before about how to work with menopausal women. And it is going to give you the step-by-step literal flowchart — do this, if yes, no, do this, if yes, no. We’re gonna map out the stages of menopause very clearly and why symptoms can show up in different stages, which can throw you off the track and make you recommend the wrong thing for where that patient’s at. And it’s all tied back to one lab marker, and I’m gonna tell you what that lab marker is. We are gonna go into every symptom I could possibly think of related to menopause — cardiovascular risk, bone health, libido, vaginal dryness, hot flashes, memory loss, Alzheimer’s — all of it. And then when we’re done, I have a secret surprise that you’re gonna love. I’m not telling you what it is, but you have to be there to get it. It’s gonna change the way that you interact with menopausal women.
I’ve got a Menopause Mastery Kit to give you when you register — it has all the resources, all the tools, all the things. The notes give you access to a 14-day replay window. So I’m basically teaching you everything, and then I’m giving you the tools to go implement it in your practice. It’s on May 30th. Price is $249. To register, go to rondanelson.com/meno2026. You wanna make sure you go there, get registered, and you’re all set and ready to go. Even if you can’t attend live, still register, because you’re still gonna get all the things. You’ll still get the replays. If you’re busy that day, it’s fine. Register. You will not want to miss this. It is gonna be a game changer for your menopausal patients.
All right. And there I am being an influencer — do you see? I’m just so excited about this topic. And I know that when you attend the seminar, you’re gonna be like, “My gosh, I know exactly what to do now. I got this,” ’cause it’s easy. And that’s how you have to be with a patient. You are confident. You know what you’re gonna do. “Here’s how we’re gonna use Tribulus. Here’s why we’re gonna use it. This is what we’re gonna do and you’re gonna be fine.” And the patients are like, “Okay.” And if they’re not, symptoms don’t resolve — course correct. But that’s how you do it, my friend.
All right, off we go for this week. Thanks for joining me. I’ll see you on the webinar on May 30th — rondanelson.com/meno2026. It’s gonna be lit and fun, and we’re gonna have a great time. All right, friends, take care. I’ll see you next week.
[END]